I have been doing ok, I guess

[jennifer]

I have been doing ok, had a bad day at work on Friday, everything crashed and we had to do produce manually, and that got me frustrated. I was one of these people that by being born and having hydrocephalus, the fluid built up on my brain to much and made my have a mild mental disability. People I work with apparently they don't know what hydrocephalus is and could care less. For example what if I were at work someday and I am feeling good, and all of a sudden I have a seizure or just can't think of something. Are they gonna know what to do, NO because they wouldn't take the time to listen to me.

[Buttons2]

The best we can expect is an OK day. You just keep hanging in there Jennifer!

As far as co-workers not listening to you, it might be that they just cannot understand your condition because you APPEAR to be OK in their eyes. Having said that, I certainly hope your supervisor is aware & knows what to do if you do have a seizure!

Hope today will be more than just OK for you,Buttons

[joy]

hi jennifer. sorry you had a bad day. ther are lots of people that hate computers so i think you are on the good side if you are in the group that hates to do stuff the manual way. when i first went to work in the late 80's i had had my first computer class and though they were the neatest thing ever. but some of the uuum let's say probably older people and some of the younger ones too to be truthful, were just not all that eager to have to learn their jobs differently than they had been doing. most survived and loved it too, lol. so you sound like one smart cookie if you prefer the modern way of doing things.

i had no ideal that hydrocephalus carried the possibility of seziure. i had a childhood friend that had that i'm certain, and luckily she never had any of those problems. i know seizures is a scary thing as my own daughter has seizures. and not the little bitty ones either. and she has to take extra care of her health, sleep everything including what she eats as she has pancreatitis as well. she almost died during thanksgiving. and had a week stay in the hospital, all but the last day in ICU. but that was because of the pancreatitis. she had been to the ER three times and they just thought it was her overdoing her meds and just seziures. NOT SO. she had the high white blood count and infection. but it is a scary thing, just ask my seven year old grandaughter.

i would talk to the supervisior if it truly concerns you. but i guarentee you, if they see you start to seize, they will call someone! my daughters family and inlaws has never figured out when to call or not. so they usually call. you should read on the seizure board and you will see what i mean about people calling or taking people to ER. it should relieve you just a bit because as i said, it will just be natural for them to call if they don't know what to do.

as far as you having mild retardation, it sounds as if it is very slightly mild. and that's good. i have nothing i can really blame my usual state of confusion on and people think i'm hard to understand even on a good day for me. furthermore, i think bad of myself as well. you write very well and explain yourself great in case no one has ever remarked on that.

well keep us up to date jennifer. and if you do talk to your boss or supervisor let us know how or what she says, if you feel like it. okay?

[jennifer]

Hey Joy,

People have remarked on my writing skills, and I appreciate you being another one of those people. I will keep you informed on what goes on.

[JAVISI]

[FONT="Comic Sans MS"][SIZE="4"][COLOR="DeepSkyBlue"]Jennifer,
I know it is frustrating when people don't understand your illness! And especially when they really don't want to know. I have Myoclonal Cerebellar Ataxia. I also have good days and bad days.
I am happy that you are able to work. Maybe you could talk to your boss and tell him /her about your illness. I walk like I am drunk at times and I am sure that is what pe4ople think! I don't like the staring:( !

I also don't like the looks when I use my handicap card when parking, somedays I look fine but they don't know how tired and short of breath I get. Most people don't want to know I beleive because they don't want to think it could happen to them or they are too busy with their own lives. Sometimes I look at families and think they don't know how lucky they have it! But we also do not realize that their lives can change in the twinkling of an I then they are in our shoes!

Hang in there and don't give up. You are a good person that is a wonderful attrubute to this site!;)

[jennifer]

I also lost a friend in a car crash and that doesn't make any of this any easier to deal with, maybe God is trying to tell me, but I don't know what it is.

Jennifer

[joy]

hi again jennifer. i am sorry to hear about your friend diiiying in the car crash. a young man that had just turned 20 died in a crash on new year's day it was so sad. it always is when someone so young dies. my husband lost a niece with unknow heart troubles at 16 and even though it's been years we still grieve over her. i think you would tell anyone else to turn to God and let him help you through this time of sorrow. and that would be good advice. there may be no message. just lean on God when you need to. he will not desert us. it is us who turns away from him.

pm me or any of us if you need to talk more and we will be here for you.

take care

[JAVISI]

Jennifer,
I too beleive that all things happen for a reason, although I don't always know the reason why:confused:

I am so glad that you come to this site. For me it really helps. Here it seems people truely care about you and what happens in your life.

I hope you can find some type of inner peace for your self. Life is not always easy, especially when you are ill. One thing I did get out of this terrible illness is the appriciation for life and the beleif that I deserve to be happy.

I led such a sad dimal life for so long but eventually I realized that if I were to die tomarrow, I wasnt to die being happy. This site helps to make it possible people beleive in me and truely care for me! You are a wonderful person that also deserves happiness. I hope you find that peace within yourself soon!
Friends, always

[jennifer]

Hey guys, thanks for the support!

[JAVISI]

Jennifer,

How are things going for you? I hope better!:) . I have been hanging in there some days are easier than others.I often wonder, why are all of these things happening to me and when will they stop! Or at least ease up a little. But I do beleive that, in the end problems make you stronger not weaker;) ;)

This site like I said before has been my saving grace. I like to help people if I can even if I don't have an answer, it always helps when you know that their is some one listening to you!

I am looking outside at the most beautiful sunrise, pink gradually turning to blue. I do have some sadness in my heart since it iss Easter and my kids will be spending their time with their dad but I am going to my boyfriends sister's house. They treat me like family and I feel so loved by all of them. I will see my kids next week. I miss spending the time with my grandkids, I love them so much! And I know that they love me. My son is still in jail so I will be with him in my heart. My other 2 are also grown and have a very demanding dad, so they do what he wants, I don't blame them.

So it is a bitter sweet day for me! But I also know why we celebrate easter and am greatful for that. My boyfriend lost his mom a little over a year ago. So it will be their first year without their mom. I hope to say the right words and have a enjoyful day. I will call my parents. with my mom being an alcoholic we really don't celebrate many holidays togeather. I dread calling her today, she will be mad that I didn't call her at all yesterday. I only spoke to my dad. She will be mad!

But I had a wonderful day with my grandma, my mom treats her terribly and it is her mom. Someday she will regret that. So lets try to live each day with out looking back and having no regrets!
With love and happiness to you!;)

[Buttons2]

Isn't it always sooooo good to know there are people out in cyberspace that care about us?

People we can count on to reply, people that truly have empathy for whatever illness or disease we suffer from?

People always willing to reach out.

Embrace all this Jennifer, tell us your sorrows & know that we will listen.

I'm sorry to hear about your friend dying. This is so hard to understand "why" isn't it? A couple from my past lost their only daughter @ age 20 on Thanksgiving last year, her car went in a ditch right by where I live. I have to have faith that God had a plan for her, but it's hard. Maybe these tragedies happen to help someone else? (A guardrail would had prevented the accident for instance & now people are pushing to get one there).

Gentle hug to you,Buttons

[JAVISI]

Dear Friends,
I had a bitter sweet Easter, no little kids to watch hunt for easter eggs:( . I know the reason we celebrate Easter but I sure do miss the times with my kids. I was so sad thinking about Travis being in jail. All alone:( . I hate that thought, I try to remember that he knows that I love him and miss him so much.

My stomach was bothering me so much, I was in tears. I hate living with pain. I wonder if it will ever stop? I am so thankful that I have you all that truely care. My boyfriend tries to help me but he really doesn't know what to do for me:confused: . Some days I don't even know what to do!

Life can be so hard, I don't understand why it has to be hard for some and so easy for others? I geuess he says that we are made stronger in our times of weakness.

I did get a happy surprise from my dad this morning. The hospital that I worked at made me a Easter basket. I felt like I lost that part of my life and that they had forgoptten me. I guess not. It did put a smile on my face:)

Hope things are going well for the rest of you!
Forever Friends, :D

[jennifer]

I still miss John, I saw his wife and kids yesterday and her face lit up when she saw me, but I didn't have much of a smile back. She emailed me this morning and told me she knew what I was thinking and told me to just think of the happy times me and John had together, and to think that I will someday be with him glorifying the same GOD up in heaven. She said, Wouldn't that be awesome.

[JAVISI]

Jennifer,
I hope you are doing well. I think of you often and hope the best for you! You are such a kind person and with God's help I know that you can get through this, Not to trivialize your problem at all;)

I am thankful that I come to know you, you have helped me in many ways. I want to thank you for that. I beleive evrything happens for a reason, reasons that we can not understand often. You are here for a reason, I beleive to help others. I beleive John is looking down on you and smiling knowing that someday you will both be reunited in a glorious place with no pain or suffering, only love and happiness. Feelings that we can not understand because it will be so wonderful!

Keep sharing, you have many friends here!:)

[jennifer]

Javisi,

Thank You so much. It made me cry but thank you. There is gonna be a lot of thinks that make me cry from here on out, but like you said John is watching me and he knows that I cry and probably cry for him. I miss him so much. I am sorry everyone has to hear about this over and over.

[jennifer]

Buttons 2

I haven't been ignoring you, I just want to let you know I appreciate all the kind words saying. It makes me cry when I hear I will see John again, I just always wish it will be Sunday or something like that. Again thanks for everythng. I am sorry you have to keep hearing about John, but I don't know if anything could get me to stop talking about him.

[Tootsie]

Jennifer,

Talking about someone who has died, is a normal part of the grieving process. We're always glad to listen. However, you might find it helpful to talk with his family, or others that knew him. That, too, can be more helpful than you could ever know. Sometimes, just sharing what you know, and hearing, how others perceived him, his friendship, and about incidents that they remember, can expand your own knowledge, and help you over this difficult time. Cheerio.

[jennifer]

Right now, I know they are going through a hard time and they probably also have a hard time talking about it, so I will give it a little more time.

[JAVISI]

Jennifer,
I have been in the hospital for the last week. I went in on Sunday and got out on Sunday. I was having a lot of pain around my gastrostomy tube. The Doctor removed it and place a tube down my nose and into my stomach. I am still trying to get used to it. I have 3-4 weeks to decide if I want to say no to any tubes and risk pneumonia, which is what my dad wants but I will admit I am scared I almost died from pneumonia the last time I had it yet I really don't want to live in pain either. The delema of Quality of life! I am not sure what I am going to do yet!:(

Do not feel bad about having greif over your friend yet. We are all here for you! I will listen for as long as it takes for you to come to terms with this. I know that I still greive the death of my aunt and she has been gone a long time. I don't greive for her because I know that she is in a much better place. I greive for me because I know that I can not see her anymore and share things with except for in my prayers. I talk to her often!

Keep writing and get it out it helps!
Friends, Laurie:)

[joy]

hi jennifer

how are you doing girl? i haven't been as active on the board here lately but wanted to jump in and see how you are doing? i hope things are getting easier for you now but if they are not, we are still here to listen to you.

you take care and when you have time, give me an update on yourself. have you got to start doing anything since the weather has warmed up? still enjoying the neices, etc. i think about you often but don't sit down to take the time to follow up like i used to as it is kinda painful sitting for long periods at the computer now.

[JAVISI]

Jennifer,
I have been wondering the same thing! We all miss hearing from you and how things are going! As you can see from my previous post I am struggling again, but I have hope fath and wonderful friends, and one of them is you!

Wishing you the best!:)

[jennifer]

Hey Guys

It is good to hear from you all. I haven't been on here lately, becaue I guess you could say that I feel sorry for myself since I do have hydro and I don't have a lot of friends. I am going to a community college and that didn't go to well, but I am will work hard next semester and try to do better. I will try to be on here more.

[Tootsie]

Hi Jennifer,
It was good to see you posting again. I am sorry that community college didn't go as well as you had hoped. It is a lot of hard work, and especially the first semester or year, it is a challenge to learn how to manage your time.

Please do not neglect your college work to keep us posted on your progress. We will still be here, and looking forward to hearing from you, during recess times and the end of the terms. Cheerio.

[jennifer]

Hey Guys,

I won't neglect my college work. Homework is the first thing I do. I like school, and I like to be on here too. The reason school is so difficult for me is because of the hydro and my mild mental disability which comes from having hydro. I like to be on here talking and helping other people out.

Jennifer