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GodDreamer2007
03-16-2007, 12:07 PM
:D Some of these are hilarious. :D


Subject: HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS


To think these people that charted these bloopers have college eductions that they paid good money for ? ? ? ? ? ?


> HOSPITAL CHART BLOOPERS
>
> These are actual writings from various hospital charts.
>
> 1. The patient refused an autopsy.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 2. The patient has no previous history of
> suicides.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 3. Patient has left white blood cells at another
> hospital.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her
> husband states she was very hot in bed
> last night.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left
> side for over a year.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 6. On the second day, the knee was better, and on
> the third day it disappeared.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> ;7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly.
> She also appears to be depressed.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 8. The patient has been depressed since she began
> seeing me in 1993.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male,
> mentally alert but forgetful.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia
> for lunch.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 12. She is numb from her toes down.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 13. While in ER, she was examined, *******, and
> sent home.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 14. The skin was moist and dry.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 15 Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size
> thyroid.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 18. She stated that she had been constipated for
> most of her life, until she got a divorce.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 19. I saw your patient today, who is still under
> our car for physical therapy.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light
> and accommodation.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is
> circus sized.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover
> function.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 24. The pelvis exam will be done later on the
> floor.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> 25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other
> abnormalities.

Gracie99
03-16-2007, 12:53 PM
Oh Lizzie, I am ROFLMBOPIMP!!!! Too funny!!!

Where did you find something like this? Laughter is such good medicine.

kathyrooker
03-16-2007, 06:17 PM
That is just too funny!
Kathy

GodDreamer2007
03-17-2007, 04:48 PM
:D I know too funny,l someone sent it to me...couldn't resist posting it:D

armysoldierc148
03-20-2007, 10:24 PM
that is so funny!! isn't it crazy what they put in your records? i had a neuro put in my offical record that i was following the presidental election. no kidding! like that was causing the mg??!! i never saw him again! :D

GodDreamer2007
03-22-2007, 02:27 PM
:D I'd love to read all my records, but I'm thinking I don't have that much time in life to read through them.,..:p