Hi All

[Kevin Jackson]

:o My name is Kevin. I suffered a TBI in 98. I was a member of this site, but I have not been able to come home in quite some month. What happened to everyone I once knew here. Well I guess I'll have to start all over again.
Police report read that I was mugged comming out of a store in my old neiborhood, the one time I did'nt have my dog.I don't remember a thing.Unconjust for about 2weeks and another 2-3month to figure out who,what,when and where of my situation. Headaches are my real physical problem I suffer everyday.Psycologicaly anger swings like a pendilum. On a schale from 1-10, I SUFFER A 5-6 ALL THE TIME MOSTLY till it hits a hundrend. Sleep, nightmares, memory,judgement,Dizziness,Tinnitus,Vison(blurry), Increased Aggression,Anxiety,Sensitivity to noise an light,damaging social functioning,disturbed interpersonal relationship with family and freinds,decreased employment capabilities,narrowed recreational intrest, a more limited life style ,and audio and visual hullosinations.Psychological symptoms frequently play a more prominent role. Has this site started all over again. I can't find any of my old post. WOW !!!! Any of my old freinds here anywhere? More lost than before.:o Well I've learned a lot since 98. I became obssessed with TBI and found a lot of us suffer the same problems.You know ,I find it strange that I can remember things from way back. But for the like of me can'nt remember yesterday altogether sometime.In the begaining the doctors say I use to think it was the 70s.They say their has been evedence that a person, when they have a T B I may remember the high points in their life ,like it was today.

[bon]

Hi Kevin. Nice to meet you. I used to come here all the time but stopped for a few years. I'm back now! I too suffer from TBI. Mine is from a car accident in 1981. I also have epilepsy from that accident.
Yup, headaches are a real part of all this, unfortunately. Most people don't understand what it's like to hurt all the time. (of course a lot of people here do so it's good to have that understanding). Maxalt and a healthy dose of ibuprofen seem to keep my headaches under control so I guess I'm lucky.
I also had hallucinations but docs said it was the epilepsy and meds helped with that too.
Of course, I know you can sympathize with this, most people in the general public have no understanding of any of this because we LOOK FINE. When you try to explain (in most cases) it's like "yeah right".
I've given up trying to explain and just let them think I'm weird!! :)
Take care and hope to see you later! bon

[mommaoftoddlers2]

Hi Kevin Hope you have been doing okay during the down time. I think they are trying to salvage all the old posts, time will tell. I'm very thankful they have this back up and running!

I have finally been able to get a little relief from the headaches from my fall 2+ years ago. Topamax has helped, with some antidepressant in the mix. It's a higher dose than they usually like for the migraines....so, I play charades a lot. lol

My neuro is hoping that it keeps my weird smell spells away too! Watching those EEG's, that's such a fun test....always gives you a headache!

I'm sure people will slowly make there way back!

Take care! and Welcome Back

[Shown]

Hello Kevin:

No I do not suffer from TBI, but almost one yar ago my husband fell roller skating. Man has that changed our life. Yesterday we attended a medical exam to try and get qualified for SSD. He did poorly on his memory all the way around. I cannot nor willl I say I understand what you are going through because there is no way I can understand. I do see what you are going through (we have been married 26 years) and the comment about the outside world looking at you and not believing you, I get all the time with him. His family does not even understand nor dothey believe when I try to tell them how sick their brother is, I am making all of this up he is fine it has been a year. Well he is not fine, by no long shot, doesn't matter to me, I love him and I will always be there for him, but I just want to scream what in the world are you people thinking, a brain injury here, not fine, but that or ignorant to the problem and they will probably always be that way.

We are fighting workman's comp also, he was involved in a really bad gang fight (5 teenage boys) one slugged him in the face and grabbed him around the throat, they went to the ground, his right elbow was bloodied, his left shoulder blade was bloodied, his right ear was red, the lens in his glasses got broke, and the right side of his neck was swollen. They will treat everything on the right side but his brain and guess where the brain surgery was, you got it on the right side. They said they treated him for a neck injury not a brain injury that that was pre existing, well it was but the fight aggrivated it and he is now unable to work.

After the brain surgery he continued his job, up until three months ago he was able to work, then after about four fights at school he cann't work any more, he cann't remember and he has head pains from HE//.

So I cannot say I understand but I can say that I am here. And I am so thankful that everyone else is here on this sight, because I have needed to support that I get here. He is okay, only because he does not remember he is not.

Thank you for listening!

Shown

[Kevin Jackson]

Hi all.Mommaoftoddlers I remember your name. Or rather I remember the look of your name. I sure hop that they can salvage our old stuff, their was some good things I'd found during the early stages of learning about TBIs. In the begaining I'd found relife in using whats called an AlfaStim. Its good for headaches,sleep and some emotional problems.It runs about $200.00. Now theirs another one callewd HealthPax. The same machine for half the cost. I've never used that one, but I speak highly of the AlfaStim. You know I also have found that if you were a butthole before your TBI. You'll probalby be a bigger one after it. Like I was one of thoses folks that if you told me to color the sun, then I would make it look like fire cause thats whats I know of the sun. So I begain to see why I was so into finding out about TBI. From that point I begain to understand a little about who I once was. The medical world is just begaining to notice use as disable. They use to think we where just retarded or lazy. So my advice is to look in medical books. Its where I first say and understood that when you have a TBI., it effects the central nervous system. This controls everything about you.:)

[The Dude]

Welcome home Kevin!!!

I hope your stay is a pleasant one :)

[Kevin Jackson]

I have found laughter is still the best medicin. We must learn to laugh at ourselfs. We see the mistakes we make cause by our TBI. Its just that we don't want others too. And that makes a lot of us angry. My self I've learned to wear what I call my mask or suit of armor. I function but within limitation(understanding and acceptance). And once the mental excaustion kicks in I have to get by my self, if only for a few minites. See I feel you must learn to know when it gets to be to much and walk away,you can't cope like you did before. One thing is for sure. I don't think any of us(TBI'S) can be in a particular situation to long, before you become mentaly tired. Thats when your anger will raise its head:mad: . You can feel it comming. Thats when its time to take a break:o . But first you must admitt theirs a problem, to yourself. I'm a vet, and I thought I could handal anything. But this(TBI) has more faces than Sybil. Central Nervous System!!!!!!!!!!! START THEIR.

[Witiku]

Of course, I know you can sympathize with this, most people in the general public have no understanding of any of this because we LOOK FINE. When you try to explain (in most cases) it's like "yeah right".
I've given up trying to explain and just let them think I'm weird!! :)


This is verry true! Even my wife says snap outa it sometimes. Still freaking about not remembering her or the kids while siezing every four minutes for days. They make fun of what I said while out of control szing in the hospital. Not so funny as I have no firm memory of contiguous time or those inapropriate words. (Or running down nurses while naked :D, Nothin' to see here folks, move along now)

One of my friends makes a joke "Shake it off!" Like in sports.. It's funny but macabre at the same time.

Most people see that the body looks fine therefore there is no problem. :(

[Kevin Jackson]

If people could understand what we are carrying under the fasade it would make life easyer.But we don't want to be treated differant, but we are, we don't want them to notice, but we do. Damn if you do and Damn if you don't.(excusse my french). But they think you can tell a book by its cover. The thing that gets me is that when "JACK" pops out the box, as it will, know somethings wrong. No one ever considers the why or what. Thats why I say, you have to take time alone just for yourself. See the holidays are comming. I have found this to be a terrible time in the life of a TBI. You want to be part of the occation, your mind is tell you nothings wrong you feel good feet kicking high. Then "JACK" raises its head(that feeling when you know you have to get away,attitude change. Its time to run get away for a moment. You must program your mind, you have to pace yourself. Outside input can be overwelming. It may be good to go outside in the cold night air and just "SCREEM" hope or make sure no one is around:eek: , we feel foolish already or go in a room alone. Till the moment passes,you"ll know when.;)Don't fret. Thoses odd feelings you get will pass. Remember, were talking about central nervous system overload. It'll never be as it was ! But it can still just be.

[Kevin Jackson]

The holiday season is on us again. A few tips I've found helpfull in making it through. You must be able to notice a change in emotion, pysical stamina. Theses are true signs that its time to take a breakor JACKS getting ready to POP. Walk out side, I myself sometime after I look around and make sure no ones looking. Like to let out a loud screem till theirs no more air left. Or just get somewhere, quite dim lighting. Breath in through your nose. Fill in from the bottom of your lungs and out a few times. You know ? I use to think breathing in making your chest poke out was right. I came to find that adds to tention. Remember outside input can be a downer:o . We don't want anyone to notice or treat us differant, but if something happens we do want others to understand why. Where not who we where, but no one has to notice if we learn out about our new selfs.:cool:

[Kevin Jackson]

Hey, I couldn't wait to get here today. To tell of what I saw on the Today show this morning.
Music from your brain waves. Thoses electrical impulses in your brain, turned into music. Aiding in releife from stress,insomnia,headaches and a long catagory of emotional and mental problems.
This sounds better than the using of the AlphStim I've found relife in. If you haven't tryed the AlphStim, then do. You my find some reliefe. But what works for some my not work for all. But its a start.
Where experimental rat anyway. Just as where learning,so are doctors in dealing with T B I. Chemical componys and investers look out.
I hope everyones been praticing. Getting ready for the holidays. You can enjoy it like everone else and like you use to. Just in stages and on your grounds. Remember the signs of to much input. Now lets carve that turkey or ham.Or for us veggies, Lets have a good healty grand old Thanksgiving.:D

[Kevin Jackson]

Well, how did it go. Any melt downs ? Where you able to use thoses copying skills I've spoke of in the past. One major one down, one more to go. To me this one comming has always been the big one. All that festive stuff can really be mentally tyring. If you've made it this far, you can make it. Remember listen to your body. ;) And all will be well!!

[Kevin Jackson]

I seem to be having problems posting. can anyone help me

[Kevin Jackson]

Its been almost 10yrs since my T B I . I been fooling myself in saying its only been 5. But it happened in May of "98'. I've come a long way, since thoses early Dark Days. I think I've come full circle. I'm not of the level I once was. But as far as this T B I is conserned, I'm their. I believe I've grow farther than I have before. I remember seeing thoses people standing in the same place on my way to work, when I get off that evening. My TAX dollars at work. Doing their drinking an dope. After my T B I . I begain to realize, People have differant ways of dealing with Trauma. And maybe that is theirs.I start feel like I was one of thoses people so to speak. Thats the kind of growth I'm speaking of. Inner. Something had to change. So I had to find what drove me to learn all thoses trades.As an old vet. I was like that old saying,"Be All You Can Be". That was who I was in the past. So T B I became my new J O B !. I remember feeling loney, angery, disappointed in my condistion and situation in thoses early theripy groups.As time went on I started seeing myself in the new T B Is i'd meet in later years. Its not the point of feeding on someone elses almint. But it has something to do with inner growth. I find now in helping others I also help myself. This site was a life saver in a big way. What had I done to deserve this. I once walked with a cane. With that man thing kicking in my mind. I dont want to look or be treated like a cripple. But underkneeth, if I made a mistake, I wanted it to be understode why. You can't have it both ways. Its been a lot of years since I've walk with a cane. Don't get me wrong, I still my trip, stumble or on small occations even fall. But nothing serious. Part 1

[Kevin Jackson]

Part 2
Family. I'm sure they mean well,but some people aren't cut out to be caregivers. An as a T B I i know I can be mean and talk loud with out even knowing it.Thats my excuess. What are some of theses caregivers excuesses.I think to be a caregiver, you must not only give time but attitude. Its ethier in you or not.Then too some people just like to push buttons. They can't live without drama. I just made a trip back to Wisconsin, to get the rest of my things. That was the first time I've drove, really drove since the insident. I think that was the real turnning point.(emotionly)A switch went off in my mind. It was time to wake up. Now things seem so differant. It a change I can't explain. I feel like I'm starting life all over again.Now I think of the future. Planing way ahead,cause I know I can't handle simple pressure. I try to prepare for every angle. But you know the two leggit animal. Things never go as you plan, in dealing with them.Thing are so black and white to me now.Simple. We as people make it difficult. Look at the squarrl.It has the ability to expand their brain size to compensate in remembering where they buryed 10,000 nuts that season. We wheren't given that talent.As destructive as we are. If given that ability, we would only try to be G O D instead of just using this ability eat, breed living to your spritual ralm.I know thing haven't changed its just, because of my injury an location I have changed. My mind my even be repairing its self. As much as it can. We as older T B Is must understand. Our brain is old, its not going to heal all the way. like if we where young, it would find other avenues.

[Kevin Jackson]

PART 3
Wisconsin was my last learning trip, to educate myself on T B I . The V. A their was of little use. I found my strenth from The Brain Injury Association of Wisconsin. Just so happened I saw a peice in the papper on brain injury, and their name was meanchioned. When I called I remember talking to a Carolyn Fellere. Since my T B I she was the niceses person I've talked to besides my psysics. That put me in two support groups. One I thought was more acudimic, where the other was leisure, laughout loud at yourself and others kind of group. I saw the pass and learned more on dealing with this thing. Boy I brought a lot of info back and skills to help others I've met along the way.Now I think I know the basics. So I shouldn't be caught by surprise. Maybe slow to respond, but their.I can'nt say enough about the feeling of starting over. So much seems so new to me. I know I can'nt go back to regular work. This site was a life saver. I use to post of difficultys in fuctioning in everyday. Go back and read it at times, and found I was also giving myself theiripy. Oh ! And the help and support I found from my familly I've meet here. I'm proud to call all of you my familly. The simple things give me problems. The things I took for granted. Like the othe day, I was to replace the element in an electric hot water heater. Now, I know about the cut off valve at the meter. But could'nt for the life of me remember, theirs one on the tank. So not to cut the whole house off. Thats what I mean the simple things. Its going to happen to you all ,if not alrighty. I'll get their. some time or another

[Kevin Jackson]

Happy New year or what ever my suit your fancy. Its just good to be abel to be able huh ! Hope all made it through the holiday pressures well. The weather here has made it, where I could spend a lot of time out in nature,and with BABE .(MY THERIPIST) So stress has been minable. But theres always going to be that, that. Its just in all how you deal with it. Maybe thoses of you with T B I or a caregiver so to speak. Would like to share with everyone here, how you've dealt with the stressors of the holiday. Thoses copying skills that have helped you, or someone your caring for. What do you say ?

[Kevin Jackson]

On yesterday I had one of my TBI support group meeting at the V.A..Their are some that have had a TBI for years, and thoses that are new to this evil. I myself, are going on 10 yrs. since my delema. But their is one thing that is true to my findings. And that is we may feel good, and think that we can run a marathone or multi-task. But in the end find we have over loaded or selfs(mentally) and find disruptions in our actions and additude.This TBI thing is sneeky. When you think you have it whiped, it slaps you back to reality. In my efforts to learn about TBI I myself have over loaded myself with activites or thinking I'm who I was before the TBI. Beleive me when I say, Who we once where is not at home anymore, they've moved. With no forwarding adress.

[Kevin Jackson]

I've been pondering on something. In my last theirpy session(T B I ) their was a fellow that said my coping skills are easyer said than done. That was last month. I thought on this matter a lot, it bothered me.
Who we once where or thought we where, is what we have to depend on now. That stature of what we built is understood by those close to us and they will give us that space.If we let them. And when where ready will come out and play with the rest of the kids. Everyone else, well ,just say we pick our fights, we can't control things as we once did. I feel we have to admit where not the dog we use to be. But we can sit in the yard and get respect from who we where. Give up some of that luggage. We can build this new house from some of the useful things found from before the T B I . If you have family, you trust. Let them carry the bags now. They still consider you BIG DADDY or BIG MOMMA. THE HECK WITH THE REST OF THE WORLD. bELEIVE ME, YOU HAVE MUCH MORE TO DEAL WITH NOW. I was once on the upper food chain.I had that anger, now look at me,aleach on the world. I had thoses thoughts once. 10 years later, I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Its was hell. Going though the yard with my tail in the air is no more. I lowered it. But I still geyt the respect I feel I need.From thoses that don't------------------ I try to stay away from or spend as less time as possible around them. Pic your fights now. Throw away some of that exsess baggage. Its good if you have family, wife,kids or what have you. All I've ever had was my animal. Imagin how hard it must have been for me.

[Kevin Jackson]

Being so connected to the V.A Hospitals T B I support group in recent years. I'm finding press releases talking of TBI SURVIVERS back from our new conflic being miss read as milingering or PTSD. not receiving the proper help in time.
To all of you out their that are survivers or care givers. I beg you to speak of the condistion the troubles you've found or noiticed. We need your help. The medical profession is learning from thoses of us that suffered TBI as well as the care giver as the only referance point.
speak up and be counted

[TBIattorney]

Press Release

I am proud to announce that Illinois State Representative Nekritz (57th District) recognize March as Brain Injury Awareness Month. I requested she do so because I care about those who have suffered a TBI. I want to increase awareness and funding for TBI. YES, I am a trial attorney but I am not just about making money. My goal is to get every district in Illinois to recognize March as Brain Injury Awareness Month.

[TBIattorney]

Press Release

I am proud to announce that Illinois State Representative Nekritz (57th District) recognized March as Brain Injury Awareness Month on April 16, 2007. I requested she do so because I care about those who have suffered a TBI. I want to increase awareness and funding for TBI. YES, I am a trial attorney but I am not just about making money. My goal is to get every district in Illinois to recognize March as Brain Injury Awareness Month. After that, every State in the US.

[Kevin Jackson]

It is a good start. Their was a time when people with a T B I was thought to be lazy or mentaly ill. Its a long way to go, in understanding T B I as a hole. But just being reconized as a deeper rooted problem is a start. Good luck to your indevers. But until then, we who suffer must help each other by trail and error.:D

[Kevin Jackson]

:)
Hope ewverone is fine, or as good as we hope to be;) .
I still can't, stress enough. About thoses quite times we need to fine for ourselfs. You know , Thoses times when you can drop that luggage your caring. In trying to hold on to the stature of who we have created or think of ourselfs to be. Theirs a lot of mental faituge in their.
I do find that we do still, unknowingly do that around thoses that we conceider, our loving better haves,wifes, husbands,sisters, or brothers. Ever heard them say, your acting crazy today ? Or some emotion around that area. They know theirs a kink in the system. Where not all the same inside anymore. You don't have to prove it to them 24/7. Heck if their all thoses loving thing to you. Then you need to let them carry some of that luggage. It will give you more time. To rebuild and work on you. The stature of the person you are creating now. Your not that no more. This is a new, and I think improved you.
I had a support group meeting, of my monthly T.B.I. group at the V.A. yesterday. And I phycicaly showed the group this site. I hope ya'll don't mind.
;)

[Kevin Jackson]

Hope all is going well in T B I land.
I have been ask to give or share some of the insite I've exsperianced in, my jounery through the dark crevesies of the T B I exsperiance. At my support groups yearly Camp T B I function, here at the V.A..
You wont beleive the mental tierdness I've been feeling ,not in the presentation of what to say. I 've got plenty, I've exsperianced or seen in others I've met in my travels of discovery. But the personnal presentation, I present as an individual.That armor. The way we try to hide, the gliches we don't want noticed.That frount we put on. Thats whats tiring me so. But I think it will do well. One of the things I've found to really be helpfull to me, is planning. Looking at all the possibleties,options twist and turns. Sure you can't be dead on. But knowing to expect something differant. Does ease mental fetige, confution we all share when put on the spot. Not thinking as quickly or logicaly as before. Maybe their are other ideas one might want to throw my way,to aid to my trying to make the transition easyer from the caricter or stature of who we where before the T B I or thought we where. To what we have become or will be. Since it seems I have'nt been able to stir up yall here. Maybe you all will share some of your exspiriances that if you had known more of your condistion you could have avoided a lot of suffering on your and your caregiver,sister,brother,son, daughter,mother, father. That loved one, thats been their for you;) .

[KAppleby]

Hi, I am new to this website. I can understand what you have been talking about Kevin. I was involved in a MVA a year ago, and have been having issues ever since. Two weeks ago, my Dr started to wonder if I am suffering from Post Concussion Syndrome thanks to the car accident. I am on my second sick leave from work since March. I had returned to work in January for half days and after two months of struggling, my Dr pull me back off. My co-workers were trying to push me to do more and didn't believe me when I told them I was having a hard time keeping up with my work, or when I asked for help. I was basically told to "shut up and be happy with my injuries". I have been suffering from dreams thanks to the lack of support that my co-workers gave me.

[Kevin Jackson]

Sorry to hear of your delima. But maybe I can make things a little easyer, or less stressfull.
The stature of the person you use to be ,or thought you where, is still their. Its the carericter,personnallty, emotions that where damaged. First calm down. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. The one thats been their for you through this ordeal. Knows of the gliches in your circitry(head). You should have nothing to prove to them about you still having the carericture of the stature of who you where before the incident. The others that you have to put up that defense,mask. You plan your need of being around them ,or how long you can, be around them.
I have found other tidbits. From trail and error,a lot of errors. And still a lot of trails. But I have to go right now.
But please come back. Talk of things that bother you or problems you go through. So times reading your feelings, help you to see a little clearer the problem.
But most of all. The T B I is here to stay. Welcome to my world;)

[Kevin Jackson]

Well ,today is the day. I was asked by my TBI corrodinater of TBI to give a talk on my version of my exspiriances of TBI(2:00CST.) at our Camp TBI her at the V.A. Hospital. I think the reason I was asked, is that I have come a long way since my TBI. For thoses of you that remember my post from the days before the crash of our system. I've seen the light, so to speak.
My idea is to break it down, from the medical jargan to its simpless from. I think I can handel that. Heck I'm simple:) .

I would like to ask my brother and sister TBI's to wish me well. I need all the help I can get.

[Kevin Jackson]

Well The meeting went very well(camp TBI,lecture i gave). I surprised myself. I thought I would feel more wore out afterwards(mental feitge), but I didn't feel as bad as I thought.
I have been working on finding a key(so to speak) to make our lifes more manageable, more accomplisable in our daly activites. The 5 keys I think I've found are . First you must first calm down. Get in touch with your feelings.Being able to tell when the changes we face everyday are about to explode,become unberatable.Second reflect on the day. Go over the things you've done that day. The troubles,problems,dfficulties you had that day.Third work on thoses problems, that made certian things that day affect you,in a troublesome way.Fourth plan your day. Sure you can't plan everything, but you expect or not surprised or caught off guard. And realize, #$it happens.You can only control whats in frount of you what you make.Fifth be patient.It took all thoses years to develop the stature of the carericture of the person you were or thought you were before the TBI. Now, the stature of yourself is still there, its just that the carericture of that stature of who you were has theses gliches that need work.
I think thats a way of making our lifes seem benifical to us again. Tell me what you think.

[Kevin Jackson]

I think I have found 5 keys tou make our lives more managable and accomplish more in our daily routine.
1 CALM DOWN
Find a place where you can be alone, and safe. Drop your guard take a deep breath and just relax let go.
2 REFLECT ON THE DAY
Go over the things you did that day. Problems,glitchs in the system so to speak. Talk to yourself, as if you where speaking to somebody having a deccussion. Hearing yourself will make things a lot clearer to yourself MENTALLY AND EMOTIONALLY. I like to go outside at night. Its a more peaceful time to me. Parks are goodaway from others.
3 WORK ON THOSES REFLECTION
Figure out how you can make the troubles of the day a lot more benifical, productive, accomplish more. Take everything and flip it over,twist,turn look at all the options, possibillities.
4 PLAN
Now your ready to plan your day. Sure you can't plan everything, but if youv'e done step three. Their should be no surprises. But then to never take anything for grated or assume nothing. Then you can't go wrong.
5 PATIANCE
Look how long it took you to build the Stature and Carericter of who you were or thought you were.See you must understand theis nothing wrong with the stature. Its the carericter of yourself that a glitch has surfaced. Remember the show the six million dollar man. We can rebuild him, we have the technology, he can be better than before. You can be rebuilt and be a better than before. T B I is forever, it never stops. If not for your T B I you would have never stoped. We just have to change direction now.;)

[KAppleby]

Hi Kevin,

I can agree with some of your steps. My husband is always telling me to "Calm Down" when ever we are in the car and he is driving and I think there is a chance of hitting something. My social worker said that my body is reacting because it remembers the impact of the car accident, even though I can not remember the moment of impact.

I have found that the following quote helps me on days when I feel down. "Try not to do too many things at once. Know what you want, the number one thing today and tomorrow. Persevere and get it done." (George Allan) I have always been good at multi-tasking prior to the accident, and now I have to accept that I can't get everything done when I want to. I just have to remember what the most important thing is and work on that one thing, and if nothing else is accomplished, oh well it can wait another day.

"The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges." (Martin Luther King Jr) This quote reminds me that we have to show courage and strenght during our rough moments. If we just sit back give in to our injuries and let them control our lives, then we have lost the battle. But if we are working everyday trying to strenght our injuries, or learning how to cope with our "new self", then we are showing to the world how strong we are! It doesn't matter how everyone sees us, but as long as our families and loved ones see us fight, then they too will give us the strenght and courage to move on.

[Kevin Jackson]

Hope were all working hard at bettering our situation. The holiday are comming upon us. So heres a few things to not let it become so over welming.
Even if your feeling fine. Stop and take time(quitetime) to yourself. Remember, to much input will overwelm you in a matter of seconds. Pace your time around people. Keep the 5keys in mine. It takes time to rebuild. Don't take things for granted.;)

[Kevin Jackson]

How we doing out their. Saw something in a mag recently, on depression. They were speaking of a woman that had an electrode implanted in here brain to regulate mood. Say when she got off the operating table, she had the biggest smile going on. Say the intensity can be adjusted to regulate the current. And two batterys inplanted in her chest to charge the unit.
Sounds pretty neat huh. Think I'll just continue using my method. No surgery involved. An just use the AlphStim when I can.

[Kevin Jackson]

Ok ya'll. Lets get ready for the holidays. Already its a lot playing with our heads. Now, to have to deal with the holiday too, the double whammy. Remember, don't over load yourself mentally. Take time to be alone. Reevalueate yourself physically and emotionally. Be true to how you are feeling and act accordly.With this small act. You my find the best holiday fun you've had since your T.B.I. "Don't linger on the past" This is time for the new you

[Kevin Jackson]

Well how did the holiday good for ya so far ???? Hope their where no complete system shutdowns(mental). Well if you feel some fatige, don't fret. It means things are good. Now calm down, reflect on the things you did or didn't do. Work on thoses things and make your plans accordenly for the next one,cause its right around the cornner. You may find the fatige more bearable the next time. Ok you guys,BUCK-UP;)

[Kevin Jackson]

Hope the New Years going well for ya. Hope their where no melt downs during the holiday. I know its hard...... maybe its just hard for me..........NAWWWWWWW. ITS HARD durning the holiday, HELL
iTS HARD EVERY DAY. EXCUESS MY FRENCH. Well hope some of my tidbits worked for some. And thoses that still found it rough. Just tweak the methods a bit to your situation. And I'm sure you will find the days a lot more manageable. If you had any idea of thoses early days with me. I'd be a miracal in your eyes today. But I have to give creidit where its do. It was my BABY( my dog) That started me. Heck now I got 3 more.
Be strong everone, and HowdyDo to the new folks.
HOLLAR LATER;)

[Kevin Jackson]

Hows my T.B.I. family been doing. HOPE ALL IS WELL.
Green Xenon , are you doing better with coping ?
For thoses of you that knew me before the system crash. I finnilly got an AlphStim:D.YEAH!!!!!
Its a lot differant using it at home than having to go to the V.A. and use the one at in the pain clinic.
Well, hope the lot of you have found or seen the lite at the end of the tunnel. Trust me its their.
Let me let you in on some insight. You know, we two legged animals have this map in or mind of our direction in life that we start making from our youthfull years. And as we go older we have a thought that our thinking /map is the correct way and the only way. Since my head injury I have come to find, in order the live a peaceful life we must constantly revise the map we have made . And thought so much of. Now more than ever.
Well until we meet again;)

[highlander]

Hello Kevin! Am I thinking right, that you were on the old BrainTalk a few years ago?

How have you been?

Blessings,
Patrick

[Kevin Jackson]

Yeah, its me highlander, from Millwaukee. How you been old freind ?
Well I'm stoping by today: To tell ya, no matter how hard I try myself, and share my insite on T.B.I. with everyone. Things still happen. I had a seizger day before last. Busted up my bottom lip bad. Teeth marks in my lip. But I'm still trying to stay focused. On the 5 steps, I have related in pass post. The one thing I have found, is that. I usesally get them when I'm stressed out real bad. At lease I have found a relationship with passed seigures. That they usesually come when I'm stressed real bad,angy mad.
Oh and to top it off. Its been 10yrs. May of my T.B.I. .The V.A.did another cat scan two days ago. Needless to say they found something that shouldn't be their. I I have told the lot of ya out their. Just keep working, look hw far you've come.:o

[highlander]

Good to "see" you again, Kevin! Sorry to hear about your continued seizures. I agree -- there is a correlation between fatigue and how brutal the world effects us!

I'm now doing a lot of writing here (http://www.disaboom.com/Groups/spirtualsanctuary/Summary.aspx).

Blessings,
Patrick

[Kevin Jackson]

The trouble found in my head. I've spoke of a post ago. I have been told theirs nothing to be done their:o:o:o:o:o:o:o
Some time standing strong is damn hard huh !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Kevin Jackson]

Well, my talk went well. I had thought that it would only be to other T B I paytrons. But it was in a theater type setting. WOW ! But I think I did well. You guys would be proud of my proformance. Its easy to speak on something, that effects you. I still think I left a lot of important tips out. But we are credical of ourselfs. You know, it was at the V.A. and it seems to me that the notice of T B I is now respected because of our new vets. And boy.Are their going to be a lot of T B I VETS comming back. Its just darn good to be noticed. I do hate the reason is in theses terms.
bye now;)

[Kevin Jackson]

Well its been awhile since any of you have had the plessure of my babblings:D. So hows everyone out their in T B I land. Hope their has been progress in your lifes. Anyone starting to see that light at the end of our dark tunnel ? IT'S THEIR:). A few weeks ago I spoke at a T B I confrence here at the V. A. . Things went well, but I broke down in tears at the end . While reading a poem. I had found in and old State of Wisconsin T B I book. I had gotten while their for a few years. Trying to find myself:o. I thnk they stood and claped. The ringing in my ears was so loud and the embarrestment of the tears. I couldn't hear or see much. But run out. Welll I left walking gracefully with my head down. D*$# pride.
Don't stop bettering yourself. Take your time. This is the rest of your life where talking about.
BYE:cool:

[Kevin Jackson]

Well as of Friday. Its been 10years. Since I have become a member of this elite club, known as T.B.I. .I have no idea, how I'm suppose to be feeling:confused:. Still have Sleep,anxiety,judgement,tinnitus vission(blurry), interpersonnel and public relationship problems,mood,anger,memory,seizures,balance,overlo aded thoughts:o. At lease it seems to become overwhelming when I get to stressed out. But let me not kid you, Its still their. And I know it always will be:o. I can say ,Ive come a long way since the begaining:). I try not to be so withdrawn. I try to be social. It does still feel as if the world I knew before my T.B.I. sure as heck changed. But I know better. STILL LOST THOUGH;)

[tigerchef1969]

:)Hey Kevin, names Jeff. Suffered Tbi on 10/02/06 and my issues keep coming and coming, Good to read you are trudging along like so many of us do. There are not a lot of people who I believe relize how much pain and suffering and how we would give anything to stop this wild and crappy ride we are on. But no use of crying over spilled milk! Anyway I am usualy on the Epilepsy forums but will make it a point to stop by here more often. By the way Hows Alabama, Used to live in Birmingham back in 04/05. I think:confused:

Regards
Jeff

[zoso a.k.a Neil]

)))))))))))))))))))))))Greetings(((((((((((((((((( ((((((
I rarely get past the bi polar forum these days as that is the label i have had put on me most recently.I do have a lot of those problems , plus epilepsy but i really belong here as it was a TBI or head injury (3 weeks in a coma )as it was called in 1977 that my problems or life as i now know it really began.
I am being sent to a psychiatrist now as E.E.G and scans have showed up little.
has anybody else here tried this route to mental health since their TBI ?
I'll try anything if it might help.Headaches ,mood swings ,psychotic episodes and more besides have had me at hospital appointments since then but none has ever had me more curious as to what to expect so any input gratefully received.

I will try and get down here more often.It is good to be back.

Be seeing you
Zoso

[ainee]

G'day - I suppose I belong here also. I had 3 accidents/falls over the years which caused head and spinal injuries. I didn't even go to a doctor at the time - as I felt OK. Living in the bush - well, you don't go to the doctor unless it's urgent.
Oh well - perhaps I should have.
In 1997, I suffered arching of my back - called Opisthotonos - abnormal posturing or lordosis. Some symptoms from then - body stiffness sometimes in bed, numbness, pins & needles, cramps, dead arms, cold hands etc.
In 2001, I developed horrific ongoing spasms, cramps, twithches, tics, facial grimaces, clenched hands, etc.

I've posted many posts in BT explaining a simple treatment which suppressed and eventually reversed most of my symptoms, so if others here have similar symptoms, my info may help.
I posted on Complementary and Alternative Medicine - post - Salt lamps, pipes, etc., started by Buttons2 - last post 8-17-2007.
Also on the same board - Have you tried Oxygen treatment - by ainee - last post 10-21-2007.

Always see your doctor before changing any medication or treatment.
ainee.

[Kevin Jackson]

tigerchef1969,zoso(a.k.a.)neal,and ainee. Welcome, to the exclusive Club of T.B.I.. Sorry to meet ya, under theses terms, but still glad to meet ya:D. Neal we,ve spoke before have'nt we???:confused:. Tigerchef1969, you from the "hamm" huh. Your missing the fantastic hurracanne season. Nothing like a Southen ThunderStorm. Ainee, I take it your from Australia. I think your the second person I've meet here from their. Well yall,this is a new journey where'er on. I have come to find that its a new road never thought of taking or would have to take. But thats the thing about life. When we are kids we figure we know the path where're going to take, as adults we think weve figured it out. One thing about this world though. You must always be willing to revise, that map in our minds constantly. If we don't we think we have problems NOW
;) .

[ainee]

G'day - yes, I'm from Australia.
When I started to display horrific symptoms, I wrote down every accident, fall etc., that I could remember having. I had 3 head injuries - I fell on my head aged 6, had concussion - then in 1995, I received an horrific bang on the head while driving a tractor too fast over a ramp (grid) in the road, I hit the cabin roof with my head and at the same time got a whack on the bottom from the tractor seat. The 3rd injury was when I rolled a 4x motor bike down into a creek - I banged my head on the ground as the bike rolled over me.
Although it seemed that I didn't have any TBI at any one of these accidents, I had dizziness in about 1988 - an xray of my neck showed fused vertabra, which would have been caused by my injury aged 6.

After the 1995 tractor accident, I started to suffer some neurological symptoms - then Opisthotonos (or lordosis) in 1997 - then an almighty vibration in my spine a couple of years later, that shook the living daylights out of me.
It was another 2 years before I developed horrific symptoms as in my above posting. With these were mini seizures, blackout feelings, dizziness, walking with a stiff gait, walking sideways at times and many more neurological symptoms.
So from all this, even though I didn't present with TBI at the time - and many MRI's and tests I had later, didn't find any TBI, I must have had other injuries which caused these symptoms.

From my research, I've found that if the carotid body in the neck is damaged, there can be an imbalance of carbon dioxide and oxygen to the brain. I believe my head and spinal injuries probably caused carotid body damage and eventually caused me to have the symptoms and seizures etc.
I also went to an Osteopath in 2001, soon after developing the horrific symptoms. He felt my spine and said that my back muscles were "all knotted up." Months later, I asked for my MRI's (with dye) to be read again - with a list of all my symptoms. Nothing new was seen on the MRI's.
I believe if MRI's with dye, can't find the knotted up back muscles that my Osteopath felt, then this may be a reason why doctors can't find a cause for many neurological symptoms. When there is injury to the head and spine, and the spinal muscles are all knotted up - this in turn causes damage to the spinal nerves, which control every part of our body and may take some years before they develop into very worrying symptoms - like mine did.

I suppose this is a "bit off" the subject of this thread, but I thought it may interest someone who has symptoms like mine - and who may have had head and spinal injuries years before the symptoms were displayed.
ainee.

[Kevin Jackson]

Yes its good to tell all. I wish everone did. I have come to find that a lot of us only tell a portion of whats going on up their. So not to be looked at strange or treated differantly. Even though were not wraped as tight as we thought we should be or think we are now.My insight seems differantly now. Almost like I was realy crazy before the TBI. After it I became sane.(go figure) Their is a beganing to everything in my way of thinking. Its good to share the info,and it is general on this thread.Don't hold back,the smallest thing my be helpfull
Did anyone ever tell you to duck and roll:D. Or did you like the ringing sound in your head when you banged it.:D:D:D.
Wow!! you are a insurance companys nightmare. Do they wrap you in bubble wrap before leaving home:D:):D:)
:cool:

[ainee]

G'day Kevin - I've written of my experience on many BT boards, as my symptoms cross over many different illnesses and conditions that other people have - so I believe many people could benifit from the treatment I take - regardless of illness, condition, diagnosis or cause.
I'm not claiming it to be a cure for anything - or even a treatment for any illness or condition - but I believe it can help suppress and reverse many symptoms, to give better health and well being.

The treatment increases the oxygen I breath in.
Research has found in a lot of illnesses and conditions, there is a lack of oxygen to the tissues, cells etc., and a lot of organs need a lot of oxygen - the brain needs an almighty amount of oxygen.
Injury causes damage to the tissues, cells etc. Injury to the brain would also cause a lack of blood flow to the brain, which results in lack of oxygen to the brain via the blood flow - causing dead tissue.
I believe MOT - Mini Oxygen Treatment - over time, will help to repair some damage caused by injury and/or toxins - known or unknown.

Sometimes I think that I've given too much information, but if my experience can help just one other person to gain better health, then all my effort will have been worth it.
You know, I didn't sue anyone for anything - these accidents were my own stupid fault.
No, no-one told me to duck and roll - perhaps I should have done both.
Have a nice day.
ainee.

[Kevin Jackson]

No Ainee, don't feel your giving to much info. Thats a mistake a lot of the two legged animals make.
TBIS ,NOT ENOUGH OXEGIN TO THE BRAIN AND ECT.. IMpacts us in the worst of ways. I have found that your central nervous system controls breathing,heatbeat,emotions an so on. Anything that interrups that prosess,will have a large physical emotional health area to cover. So by all means speak up.That in itself covers a large area of this site. So, at times you may think this or that has nothinh to do with where you are on the site at that time but it may be helpfull to someone else just crusing thru. That may be afraid to speek of this or that.
To the rest of you out their. You,ve heard me say this up teen times. Don't be afraid to speak up. What may be small potatos to you, or may seem as if your in the wrong place or time, may be a ring of gold to someone else. Don't worry we won't look or think your like *insane:D:D:D.
LAUGH its the one thing you do have left. Not even your health should change that. Unless you let it
;)

[Kevin Jackson]

How the heck is everyone this day ? LIVING FOR THE WEEKEND:D:D:D. Boy I remember when that mint a lot:). But its strange, I still feel that kind of feeling every now an then. Is it possibably the payday ? Or maybe I still think of the hard week I've worked. Playing mind games with myself. Cause everyday is a chore:). I do wish I could take a break from this TBI,but as we all know. That anit gonna happen.
bon,how you doing. are you driving again? mommaoftoddlers2, headaches any better. Shown,hope you not rollerskating again,and what happened to your claim,did it come through for ya. The Dude,whats up. Witiku, siezures any better. KApplye, coworkers not still trying to push you. Hope they are beleiveing in you troubles. Hope your still using thoses quotes to, for strength. highlander, my old freind. Hope you still going strong.I will make it a point to stop by and visit ya. tigerchef1969, I still smile and get a good feeling when I see that picture of you and your dog. I got 4 myself. Its true owners and their pet favor:).Dealing with things any better ?zoso a.k.a Neil all is fine,yes ? ainee hope lifes looking up at ya:).
Haven't had any blow ups lately or mood swings. I walk to the V.A. on Saturday night and play in the pool ternnament. I 've won twice :D and I think it helps me take my time. And build confideince in myself. With the knowlege of knowing someones looking at ya and not judging ya.
Well gotta runn, have a good one you guys
:cool:

[Kevin Jackson]

Hope all is fine out their .
Well, you remember me talking about the swelling found after 10 years in my head. In still trying to find out where the swelling is located. I was thinking tissue swelling. Talking to someone outside my box(way of thinking) it was suggested fluid, as the swelling. Going that way ,I found in 98 their was fluid and some blood found in the CT scan. Then it was gone. Then it was back. Then it was gone. Then it was back in Feb. 08.In following up on that thought today. It was suggested by a good freind(nurse) to get a MRI. The thought is to get one now. Then when the headaches and/or mood swings are active, so to speak. Are yall follinwing my thinking ? Their my be some association in the timing of theses things.
What yall think ?
:confused:

[ainee]

G'day Kevin,
Tissue/swelling/fluid (I presume this is in or around your brain) - I read somewhere that the brain hasn't got a "pump" like the blood has, which is pumped by the heart. - Yeah, we all know that.

I know a lady who suffered with migraines - she wrapped a long heat bag around her head - this heated her head up a bit, getting more blood (and oxygen) flowing to her brain. She said this gave her relief.

She made the heat bag by filling a doubled stocking leg (one leg inside the other) with a kilo (about 2lb) of rice - tied at the top - heated it in the microwave for a couple of minutes to a comfortable temperature and wrapped it around her head til it cooled down.
A long sock could also be filled with rice and used the same.

I found by taking Vitamin B1 or Vitamin C in the right dose amount, several times a day, it increases the blood flow 24/7, which also increased my oxygen intake and oxygen circulation 24/7.
Although I never suffered with headaches, I did suffer cramps, twitches, spasms etc. It took a lot of experimentation, research, trial and error, but after many months, these and many more symptoms, started to reverse - then it took another year to gain reasonably good health, most of the time.

Please see your doctor before changing any medication or treatment.
Have a good day.
ainee.

[Kevin Jackson]

Yes, ainee. This would be in my head*insane.
From what I have gathered. The fluid collection is in the frontal lobe area( I think this is where their talking about:confused:). I know that differant areas of the brain has differant fuctions. So if the front is suppose to collect fluid then its gone ,then its back again. To me in simple thinking theirs a reson for this. What fuctions is in the frontal lobe. That could cause changes in emotions and mood, and so on. Or what changes could come from this area. Or even the thought of fluid collecting,going a way coming back, ect.,ect., ect. Something not right with that picture, in my way of thinking. Any one out their follow my direction. Or I'm I thinking wrong. Come on people, help me out here:confused:. Just asking suggestions.????????????????????

[brainandspinalcord]

The frontal lobe is considered the reasoning part of the brain. Most emotional thoughts are processed there. Damage to the frontal lobe could definitely cause changes in mood and general thinking pattern.

[Kevin Jackson]

Thanks for your thoughts on the matter brainandspinalcordamd ainee.
Is this the only indevidual with thoughts out their. Hey look, the only thing theses doctors have is us. By trail and error, we can make a differance on the next poor T.B.I.'er to come to this hall, so to speak.I'm not asking medical oppions,gee. Just your thought.
Ok, share my delimma on the next few threads:).

[Kevin Jackson]

Report:
CT scanof head without contrast Ventricles are normal size.No evidence of midline shift. No evidence of intraventricular or cortical hemorrhage seen. there is soft tissue swelling seen left temporal and posterior parietal. thereis bifrontal hypodense lesion seen around the frontal lobe.Left temporal bone show hairline fracture. Softtissue swelling also seen in the left temporal region.
IMPRESSION:
1. hAIR LINE FRACTURE LEFT TEMPORAL BONE. cLINICAL CORELATION AND X-RAY SKULL CORELATION SUGGESTED. 2. bIFRONTAL HYPODENSE LESION SUGGESTIVE OF A. SUBDURAL HYGROMA, b. Posttraumatic edema, c. Bifrontal atrophy, d. Chronic subdural hematoma
May 1998

[Kevin Jackson]

Report:
Ther are mild to morderate bifrontal subdural hygroma. ventricles are small but otherwise, WNL. THERE is no midline shift.
IMPRESSION:
Mild to moderate bofrontal subdural hygroma
Primary Diagnostic Code:
Major Abnormality, Physician Aware.
June 1998

[Kevin Jackson]

Report:
cT SCAN OF HEAD WITHOUT CONTRAST PRIOR EXAMjUNE,1998
previously seen bifrontal subdural hygroma is now resolved completely. Ventricles are normal size. No evidence of midline shift. Suspicious punctate left basal ganglia calcification.
Impression:
Interval complete resolution of bifrontal subdural hygroma. Suspicious left basal ganglia punctata calcification
JUN,98

[Kevin Jackson]

Report:
To Ct scan of head: 4mm section for obtained from the base of skull to the tentorium. 8mm section were obtained from the tentorium to the vertex revealing early cerebral atrophy otherwise the study is normal. This action is manifested by generous sylvian fissure as well as lateralventricles. There is no evidence of intra or extraction fluid collection or evidence of midline shift or parenchymal lessions.
Impression;
eARLY CEREBRAL ATROPHY OTHERWISE NORMAL ct SCAN OF THE HEAD.
pRIMARY dIAGNOSTIC cODE:
mINOR aBNORMALITY.
nOVEMBER 2005

[Kevin Jackson]

Report:
CT scan of the head was performed without IV contrast. The ventricles and cortical sulci appear normal. There is no evidence of hemorrhage, midline shift, tumor or infarction. There is excess extra axial fluid along the right and left frontal lobes. No evidence of hyperdense MCA sign or hypoattenuated lentiform nuclei or loss of the "insular ribbon" to suggest hyperacute middle cerebral infraction is noted.
Impression"
Bifrontal hygroma and mild bifrontal cerebral and atrophy? suggest clinical correlation.
Primary Diagnostic Code: Abnormality Attn. Needed

[ainee]

G'day Kevin - I believe atrophy of any kind, may be caused by the lack of oxygen to that part of the body.

From my research and my own experience, I believe "lack of oxygen" cannot be found in, or on tests. Maybe they don't even look for it - so if they aren't looking for it, they won't find it.

I just know that what I take several times a day, increases my breathing, which increases my heart rate, increases blood flow to carry oxygen to every part of the body - including the brain.

When we are ill for any reason, I believe we don't breath in enough oxygen to keep our body well oxygenated as nature intended.

Have a nice day.
ainee.

[Kevin Jackson]

The patient does have mild generalized cerebral atrophy with a slight frontal predominance. No focal areas of abonoprmal signal identified in the brain substance. No areas of susceotibility present to suggest old hemorrhage. No extraaxial collection are present with the prominence of extraaxial space on the basis of atrophy. There is no mass effect. The ventricles, sulci and cisterns otherwise are within normal limits. The craniocervical relationship and marrow signal are normal. Mucosal thickening of the ethmoid air cells are noted. Orbits otherwise within normal limits.
Impression:
There is mild atrophy, but no other focal abnormalities identified.
Primary diagnostic code:
Minor abnormality

[ainee]

Kevin - do you think that all this medical terminology means "wasting of the brain" in some form?
ainee.

[Kevin Jackson]

Thanks for your thoughts on my matter ainee. We think along the same lines;). In my quest I have found. When we get older muscle mass decresses some what. So does the brain. Thats what the term atrophy, in this case is being used.
To the rest of you. Speak up people. In T B I, the doctors know no more than what we question about or tell of our exsperances in every day life. Sure, you fall in catagorys, but each condition varies. Because we are individuals. In T B I I feel we go through a gautalant of emotional,phycological delimmas every hour of every day.(central nervous system)
Don't be afraid to tell of your horror you go through in this jounery.It may be helpfull to others. They may stand up and speak, than beening afraid or ashamed. I know the same embaressments, been their, done that:). All I asked for is your feedback. I kind of think thats what were doing here. A shoulder,an ear and some support. But I have a T B I I could be wrong:o

[ainee]

G'day Kevin - Well, atrophy is a brain wasting disease (as well as other parts of the body.) Maybe someone should look "outside the square" for a little while, and put 2 and 2 together - because the doctors aren't going to find the important clues by themselves. I've been trying for seven years, but no-one is looking in the right direction yet.

In 2001, our sheep were diagnosed with a "brain wasting disease" and they displayed similar neurological symptoms - give or take a few and put into human terms - to those I displayed.
I experimented with a simple treatment, (and several other things which gave the same benifit) which suppressed my symptoms and eventually the symptoms started to reverse.

Maybe the doctors could prescribe the simple sheep brain wasting disease treatment - also for human use and is used to treat alcoholics - which was used successfully back as far as 1968 - in Australia at least - to treat livestock with a brain wasting disease.
Similar symptoms - why not similar treatment?

What do you think Kevin?
ainee

[vini]

hi kev all

scrappy in sheep is a bit different from tbi and dead bits of brain matter ,just don't regrow my sister has a farm and swears by udder cream,for every thing, perhaps I will try rubin it on mi head :D

vini the kiwi wiv a craked swede

:confused:

[Kevin Jackson]

Hope everyones hanging in their:).
Well, as always with me. Theres those rough moments. But all in all,tollerating it. Its hard to know secrets, of making life bearable with T B I . But a lot of the underlining conditions associated with it. Makes me impatient and do,do damage to myself by inpulsiveness(uncontrolling).
Hey ! Got this knew phyco. Doc.. She makes me see things in another light(positive). Its good to have someone to talk to and them not looking at you like your a nut,or don't feel that connection(that vibe) only you can feel. Then maybe too, she reminds me of what they use to call hippys(60s). Either that or she learned her phycological connecting to the indevidual, with flying colors;).

Moose53? 23? you still out their. Saw you post today. Hollar at me:D
Well yall, keep up the good work. Remember, what it took to build the carericter of the statue you where before the head injury. Takes longer and harder, to rebuild yourself again.
Later

:cool:

[moose53]

Kevin http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/moose53/MINIS/HUGS/11_5_14.gif!!

How the heck are you??!! Long time -- no read :D

I'm good. Matthew's back http://smilies.sofrayt.com/fsc/clap2.gif!!

Money's tight, but Social Security will finally be coughing up a more reasonable cost-of-living in January http://smilies.sofrayt.com/%5E/r/dance.gif!!

Glad to hear that you're still here and kicking *A*.

Hugs.

Barb

[Kevin Jackson]

Ahhhhhhhhhhh !
Glad to hear your BABES back. If you had a tail, you'd be wagging it till your bach broke:D.
You guys still cinsidering going into Ma an Son venture still ?? All some of us got left is dreams.
Later Lov;)

[Kevin Jackson]

Hey, I need to talk. Is there anybody out there? You know, I've spoke of copying skills and bullding of the character of the statue of who I was before the TBI. And that it's going to take the rest of my life to feel normal. But what's normal? Could it be that those of us with TBI are really normal and the rest of the world is mad! I don't think I know what's normal anymore. Maybe all the things I said in the past are what I would like to be. I do know I'm tired! Were things so bad before. I wonder what it's like to be happen and content, at least for more than just a fleeing moment. I think I remember a feeling of happiness like skip to my lou down the yellow brick road. Or was that just a dream too.

Mood swings, anger seems to be everyday. I would like the company and in fifteen to 30 minutes I wish they would get the heck from around me. Get on my nerves! Ever watch a commercial and something's said or the situation brings a tear to your eye or you get choked up. It happens a lot to me. Now that's embarassing in company huh. Sometimes I get so frustrated, I brake and throw things or hit things. Why is it that things that use to roll down the back seems to have claws now and grab on and hold for days, weeks and months.

I am so tired of this, sometimes I think these to be punishment for something I've done. I know there's a light at the end of this tunnel. I have seen the flicker. Will I have the strength to get there is a another matter altogether.

I found the keys, they are basis to the doors in our mind. But it seems that each one I open there's another one behind it. Please is there any help, a drink of water, a pat on the head, an opinion or thought should'nt be too much to ask, maybe it is huh! I know some may read this and say pray and believe. My thought on that is my creater breathed the breath of life in the vessel that was created. And in doing so, gave a peace of the creator's own essence spirit, which I believe was given a piece of the creator in me. So the knowledge is there, I just have to link up with it. I have to use what I was given. I am just so tired.





October 31, 2008 @ 11:42 p.m. (CST)

[moose53]

((((((Kevin)))))),

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/moose53/MINIS/HUGS/poohhug-th.jpg

I understand. Feeling a lot of the same things myself. Depressed, but not really. Feeling like I've wasted a lot of time getting nowhere. Can't do what I want to do -- either financially or physically. Even worse, I don't know what I want to do.

I don't have the TBI, but, I've got some of the same sort of screwed up brain chemistry :o

You have much more faith than I do. All of mine is pretty much gone after watching so many people suffer needlessly. And too many children dying too early.

I wish I had answers for you, Kevin. I'd use some of them on myself. All we can do, I guess, is keep putting one foot in front of the other until 'things' change. 'Things' always change. We never stay in the same place.

Treat yourself good. You know when you feel the anger that you're in a situation that you shouldn't be in. You know I understand the anger because of my son.

I remember different times, better times, from when I was younger. It was less stressful back then. I think maybe craving the less stressful times means that we have to give that to ourselves if we can't get it elsewhere.

You're not alone, Kevin.

Barb

[Kevin Jackson]

Well I guess in a nut shell to me. It seems things are more intense, on an emotional level to me. Like, things don't roll down my back, like they use to. Stuff get on my mind and not let go. Getting stuck is what my head doctor calls it. Thoses of us with TBI seems to get stuck on something and not be able to let it go. That causes more problem. Than was their in the start.
My mornings are full of suprises. Wake feeling fine. If I get to envolded in my fine feelings,and get carryed away, nothings wrong I feel fine.In a few minites I'm so tired, as if I hadn't slept the night before. But now, if I lay down, in about an hour, I feel fine again wide awake. I call that mental fetiug.That sleepy,tired feeling(depreession?). You know I never realized how much energy it takes to start everyday. You take thoses small things for granted. Till you have a TBI. All thoses emotions, all at once, bouncing against each other.Tangling up.Till it becomes a hole differant emotion. Wow!
Sometimes I think I got off on the wrong planet. The way people seem to act, situations. Just not what I seemed to remember. Its a fact that I found . In the begaining I stayed stuck on my TBI. It was a new world in it self. We all do.What the heck I was feeling, the goings on of what seemed simple everyday to-dos. And I couldn't. Like I knew I should or had done in the past, I think?.
The world went on as normal, changes but I didn't. So I didn't change with the world.As you may have read in my past post. Phycological problems play a big roll in TBI.And thoses are the things that make you ,you.;)
That, to becomes a problem. When dealing with family, on thoses good days. They see no differance in you. And treat you that way. And lets not forget. You act that way. When the headaches get worst, your nerves get short. The situation exsplodes into the dark side, of what you've become.
Just thinking outloud

Have a good one

[moose53]

((((((Kevin)))))),

Just wanted to give you a http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/moose53/MINIS/HUGS/hug3-1223.gif.

And, let you know that your words were read and understood. Sometimes, I wish I had a magic wand...

Matthew's gonna be here for Thanksgiving ... first time in over 10 years that I've been able to have Thanksgiving with my son http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v90/moose53/MINIS/EXPRESSIVE/JC_goody.gif!!

I wish you were closer -- so you could eat some of my crummy cooking :D You'll be in my thoughts and prayers, anyway, Kevin.

Barb

Hugs.

Barb

[dawnmn]

Kevin, how your words have hit a cord in me. Your words could be mine. Everyday seems like a challegene. My doctor tells me this is the way it is and I need to accepted this way of life now but I keep fighting for the old me. That was the norm. This person who is in this body is not me. I'm the one who keeps fighting for the old me. I should accept the "new me" but I can't. The Brain injury didn't happen. I'm still there somewhere. I just can't fine it but I know it's there. How do you move pass this???? It's tearing me apart trying to fine me.....Sorry if this dosen't make sense.

[Kevin Jackson]

Thank you Moose53. For your thoughts of insite. Glad to hear all is well. My best to Matthew. Dawnmn. My thought is, who was their is gone. No matter how much we think and somtimes feel our old selfs their. What I think, is try to find a new rythem,beat,groove in lifes record. You can use some of the old you. But with a new insite added. See I believe, and try to understand that lifes still, 1 2 3 ,left right left,dress right dress(old millitary thinking). The method has changed,but still the same conclution is accheived. We must start all over,just a little bit differant this time.Small steps become giant leaps.How we where is still their just don"T expect to pick up at the moment you left.. Just the makings of the personnallity of the indivitual is in need of growth direction.I spoke of 5 keys in past post.And yes its easier said than done.But what else do we, that suffer from TBI got to do everyday.Keep banging our head aganist that wall, the same way:confused:. Wondering where lifes gone as we knew it:confused:.Only we know haw we feel day by day. A nd a lot of what the doctors know they know from us. So do some home work for yourself or get some help. And find out about you.I"VE been going through a book for the last year. Takes that long to read and try to comprehind. Road Less Travealed by Scott Peck?????? Think that right. Good start for me. Can"T hurt to try :)

[KAppleby]

Kevin, I totally understand. I have been going through Cognitive Behaviour therapy the last few months, and trying to learn acceptance that in certain ways I will never be the same again.;) It has been hard, but it helps and that is the good part.:D

Over the last year I have had three different neuro assessments. The first one, said that was I suffering from Psychological Distress; the second one said that there was a chance for a MTBI but at a scale not being picked up by the neuro, and the third one, still waiting to get the results.:confused: For the majority of the year, I have been hearing that, "You're making up most of your problems.":mad: But when I started the Cognitive Behaviour therapy, the psychologist said yes you have a MTBI for a few weeks so it would stick in my head instead of the, "you're making this up.":)

But I am also learning the signs to pull back and get away from the problems and give myself sometime to regroup.;) Which has helped a lot leading up to the holidays, as this time is always stressful now. I have done a lot of journalling over the last two years and have found that is a big help as well.

[Kevin Jackson]

I know you thought my babbaling was gone. But IIIIIIIIIII'MMMMM BAAAAACK !:D
I find it hard to stop what has been called brain chatter. You know what I mean? endless racing thoughts,about nothing in generald.I call it brain garbage. Can't even remember my THI-CHI. I try to center my thoughts, but as soon as I think of what I'm doing that garbage comes back:mad::mad:.
I've found ansewers to a lot of T B I problems I face everyday. But I guess its like, applying it to myself is hard. But maybe thats normal? Got to keep praticing the things I've even shared with you.Cause it is for the rest of my life. Some time I wonder if the struggle is worth all this:confused:. But you know, if I can't be who or what I thought I was before.Then I'm goine to be the best T B I victim I can.Its good to write your thoughts down. If it works for you,then keep it up. I'm sure your finding support in veiwing yopur writings when reread. Myself, by the time I figure out how to spell some of my thoughts . I've forgotten what I was trying to say. Keep up the strugglle. Its all about when you lay your head down at night, do you find some peace:confused:
:cool::cool::cool::cool:

[Kevin Jackson]

Something I"ve been working on is. Not running Away from the pain or not dewelling on the constant pain cronnic pain. Cause no matter what its going to be their. So ,I sort of,try to make freinds with the pain, skip to mylou down the yellow brick road holding hands so to speak with it. See our mind tells us we are suppose to bend over,grunt,hoop,limp,lay their,depressed,withdrawn,isolated. Not saying pain anit real.Our reaction to it. Cause of our past experiances. its all logged in our memories. Of how to act to this mental delima. So its our minds job to run fromm room to room(our mind is many differant rooms) to support this bigg red word flashing across in our brain P A I N and whats related to it.
I know its hard. But look at it this way.
What it took to be who we where or thought we where before the TBI. It will take the rest of ourlives to be able to deal with everyday.We thought the work was over. N A HHHHHHHH. Its only just begun. In this our new life.Second chance at it,if you like, life.

[Kevin Jackson]

You know I find it hard to make my points or express my thoughts some time. I know what I"m trying to say, and think I"M saying it that way. But it does"nt come out that way. The begaing is the end, the end seems to be the beganing. The words seem to fall where they my. Then I get upset, angery,irritated. I"m learning from my on 5 keys to dealing with my T B I pain. The second key is to reflect. You know just because you steer the wheel of the car, does"nt mean it has to go streight. Cause theirs a lot of linkage in between your steering and the wheels keeping streight. But we get stuck on what we think should be.

[lfaitel]

Hi Kevin and everyone,
I am new to this site.

I suffered a TBI in April of 1986. I was driving to work one morning and near a construction site a stake truck dropped a bail of hay......one thing led to another and my car crashed and my head injury was said to have been a freak accident. All accidents are freaky.

I have read your previous threads on the current site. I know we all have differences but we all have similarities.

Wow, when I read what others are going thru I remember. My head pain has past. I remember it sometimes lasted for a few minutes, a few hours, a day or just continuously. I remember saying I couldn't believe that intense feeling of pain was possible. I don't remember when it stopped or why, but; thank you Lord, I only have regular head aches now.

I also remember regular healthy people looking at me and thinking everything was fine. I remember the head tilts and strange looks I would get sometimes when I tried to be social.

I guess I found it best to walk away from the regular-non head injured- people when a situation arose that frustrated me and I couldn't explain, how are the regular people gonna understand? Just like you have said.

The best thing I did was to keep a journal, suggested to me by my psychologist (that I saw for over 6 years). At first I just wrote anything down to appease my psychologist but after time I began to rely on my journal. I could review it when I wanted to, I could confirm that I remembered something correctly even though regular people said I did not. Or I could see where I was incorrect, I could find my mistakes and inappropriate or inaccurate thoughts in writing ... when I was alone.

Recently I have paid an editor to work with my journals over the past 20 years. My editor read everything I wrote from as soon as I could write after my injury up until a few years ago, I asked her to go paragraph by paragraph or page by page to see if she could write what she read, in her own words. I then took my editors words and re-wrote each thought into how I would tell the instances today. In my mentally healthy words-per say? Once I had my memoirs updated I knew if I could put them into a book format I could then help others. I wish I had a book like this to read when I needed it.

Yes I am promoting my book right now, but foremost I put the book together to educate the regular-non head injured public and hopefully give insight and comfort to my fellow head injured. My book is called: Am I Brain Damaged? Memoir of Life after My Brain Injury; available on amazon.com and bn.com.

I ONLY MENTION MY BOOK FOR USE FOR COMFORT AND SUPPORT TO US HEAD INJURED, OUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

I look forward to reading and being apart of this TBI onine community.

God Bless and take care, we may be different but we can live a regular life of our own kind.

See I HATE the use of the word normal.

[Kevin Jackson]

I wish your efforts the best. I founf to be able to talk about your pain without any judgements but as a veiwer. To discribe the pain where one could see,smell,feel,and touch. To its simplist form was the hardest thing I did. But after many mirrows later, I can speak of my pain without being embarrest,shameful afraid of how others might look at me. A d it feels darn good. I was in a sopport group lately. And saw myself in the begaining of this ordeal(TBI),IN SOMEONE NEW TO THE GROUP. I come to realize that I am still that withdrawn person in my own way just at a differant level. Just confrounting ones demons is the first step to healing.;)

[Kevin Jackson]

Maybe its just me. But I had my TBI in 98. Last week I was ordering some vitamains. I have a aloted amount every few month. As they were deducting I found myself confuessed aggitated COULDN'T KEEP UP WITH THE COUNT. a flush feeling. Anger at myself not being able to keep up(process) then fight or flight kicks in(COAST GUARD VETERAN) mood swings ANGER!!!!!!!!!!. eVEN AFTER ALL THESES YEARS THE GLITCHES ARE STILL THEIR. i TRY TO UNDERSTAND THOSES EMOTION AND WHY. iTS A LOT OF WORK. bUT THE CARICTER OF THE STATUTE IS THE DAMAGE NOT THE STATUE IT SELF. i 'M NOT THE BRIGHTEST BLUB ON THE TREE OR MAYBE ITS JUST MY DELIMMA

[Kevin Jackson]

http://msktc.washington.edu/consumer-info/tbi/fatigue/TBI-fatigue.pdf
[url]http://msktc.washington.edu/consumer-info/tbi/driving/TBI-driving/TBI-driving.pdf
http;//msktc.washington.edu/consumer-info/tbisleep/TBI-sleep.pdf
http;//msktc.washington.edu/consumer-info/tbi/understandding/TBI-understanding-Part2.pdf
[url]http://msktc.washington.edu/consumer-info/tbi/emotional/TBI-emotional.pdf
http://msktc.washing.edu/comsumer-info/tbi/understanding/TBI-understanding-P3pdf
When you get to thoses - they go at the botton of the line. Sorry I'm a dinasour at this