Frustrated with the new teacher... about to explode..

[Denae]

As you know Rileys wonderful teacher retired at the end of January. She was replaced by a fresh out of school- girl. I have tried to be objective and give her the benefit of the doubt. I have tried to talk to her a few times, just to get to know her. She is very ..um, not sure the word I am looking for.. uninterested.. :confused: and very child like herself and I don't mean in a good way.

Now, Since the teacher took over Riley has only been to school a handful of times- Seizures have been bad the last month (like they are ever good?) I would venture to say that since Jan 31st she has been to school only about 6days including today. So I know she is still learning Riley.

With that said....

-First incident- A couple of weeks ago I sent Ri to school on a day that my gut said I should have kept her home, I called after school to see how Ri's day went and to get a seizure count. Miss W was completely uninterested in telling me anything about how Ri was during the day. When Ri got home she looked totally out of it, her speech was slurred and she just looked icky. The bus driver said she had a couple of little seizures on the bus, but that she looked like that when she got to the bus from her class (which tells me she had to have had several at school) Miss W's response when I asked about how many seizures she and Ms.B saw during the day... "None" - I asked her if she was aware of what her seizures were like, the next response got my goat too "yes, Mrs Whitman shared the IHP with me before she left" - I let it go, :( trying not to be "that parent" but I was irritated.

She was not able to get to school until the next week- I got a progress report in her bag- (Now we all know that she is out of school more than she is in school- this year has been really bad, we are just a step away from pulling her out on homebound services.) In the past her old teacher was very acurate in recording that yes she is out of school more than most kids but that it is due to seizures and of course her progress is limited in part b/c of that as well as what has been lost as a result of the actual seizures. So anyone who was to look at her school file would see by the progress reports that it is more than just missing school.... The progress report I got said "Heather Riley makes limited to no progress due to excessive abscences." It just really hit me wrong. I called her the next morning and her attitude was more irritating than the actual report. She said "I understand why she is out" I explained to her the importance of her progress reports being acurate and that looking at this one made it sound as if she was just out... the wording was just abrasive. She offered to go back and add a note to it, but the tone of her voice hit me wrong.

Then I get a nasty note about needing the permission slip for the field trip back - which I never got, Ri was out the day they passed them out- two weeks before- I have gotten NOTHING from the days she was out-
( I am not letting her go on the trip, but it was the point)

All of us moms are pretty close and communicate often about what is going on in the class, I have heard some distrubing stuff about what goes on (or what doesn't during the day) - I still tried to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Because of all the above stuff I DO NOT want to send Riley on the field trip.... There are several classes going and if she can't keep up with what goes in in the room HOW can she keep up with them out in the real world?




Today was the last straw-

Riley has been crying about a little boy, lets call him X, X has been pulling her hair for weeks. I have told her time and time again to tell the teacher, she has told me that Miss W doesn't do anything b/c she doesn't see it. (keep in mind that there are only 8 kids in the room and that Riley has NO CONCEPT of time- yesterday, a minute ago..ect) She said they are in centers when it happens, so after much talking and debate she said she would tell miss W next time it happened...

I get a note with a sad face saying that she claimed X pulled her hair when he did not.

- The mama bear in me wants to lash out, which I know I can't.

X has pulled the hairs of every kid in the class, X even grabbed the hair of baby K when a mom visited for lunch.

If you made it this far into it you know I am just frustrated and needed to vent.....

Plus I need a nice and calm mind to talk to Miss Uninterested in the morning....

[Carly'sMa]

Denae,

Sorry that this is going on. We all have enough to do with our kids that we don't need to "break in" a new teacher too.

Nip it in the bud - call a team meeting. Who cares what they think.

We had a situation with Jeremy's 5th grade teacher doing horrible stuff. It took 1/2 year to get rid of her. (And, the school district didn't do it right, so they had to pay her money!) She was verbally abusive, couldn't tell us what our children were doing in class, made so many mistakes on keeping records of assignments not done, etc. that it got to a point where all the parents got together and had a meeting with the superintendent of the district!

About the seizures - talk to the school nurse. She'll make sure that they are reporting accurately to you.

[forr2grls]

Oh gosh,I know how frustrated you are.I have a similar issue about Ashlie's teacher.I can not stand this woman.She makes no attempt to speak with me whatsoever.I get the feeling from her that she thinks Ashlie is there just to fill up a chair (regular ed). Anyway,didnt mean to go off on my own little rant...hopefully you can get the situation remedied soon. I agree with Carly's Ma to ask for a meeting. Wishing you luck and super big hugs!

Paula

[lacyndarella]

Ugggg! I think that something needs to be done...nobody should ever call a kid a liar! Sometimes the mama bear is right!

Lacy

[Tracy Sheppard]

I would be calling in the guns if it were me. I would be getting a meeting with this teacher and the principal and anyone else who needs to be there.
I would be scared and leary if she is this disinterested, and Riley having seizures and she isn't even paying enough attention to know.
Good luck Denae. I have no 1st hand advice for you as I homeschool Megs.
How scary and frustrating.

[langansmom]

(((((hugs)))))

I am so sad that the one big positive in Riley's life- her wonderful teacher- has been replaced by someone so NOT a positive.

I agree that it is time to call a meeting and whip this woman into shape. Like you need yet another stressor, I know.

Hang in there!!

[Fayelle]

This is particularly bothersome.....

I think Mama Bear is right.....

It sounds like this teacher needs some more experience before jumping headlong into this classroom experience, like with another teacher such as the one Riley had before.....

I was very fortunate last year to have had a teacher like Xanders in his kindergarten class. He even recieved an award for his attitude and capabilities of coming back from the month of hospital stays and jumping back into school....Simply because she was such a fantastic teacher, she was also high energy and talked more to us about Xander than even his grandparents....So this made it easier on us to let him go back into the situation without us.....Even today when we see her she is still very concerned and interested in Xander, but she is this way with every kid who was in her class as I have seen her with some of the others who go back to say hello......

It sounds to me like this teacher is lacking the necessary empathy to work within this environment.....There are certain things that not only the kids need but the parents need from someone responsible for a child like Riley....If this teacher does not have this necessary skill my opinion is that the school should remove, or move her to a more appropriate role and find another teacher who is qualified to continue the care these children deserve.....Each child deserves the best care they can get from someone responsible for being in a teacher role.....It is so essential to make the learning process something so enjoyable that it is not cumbersome or boring for the children.....

I think your instincts and frustration sound warrented, you know Riley better than anyone and if there was a complete overlook of a day of seizures that is not acceptable period.....It is the teachers responsibility to see your child clearly and know when something is not right at any given moment and then react accordingly.....

I wish you well in figuring out how to go about dealing with the situation, unfortunately I have no idea how to go about that.....But I just did want to empathize with and let you know I agree with her needing either a wake up call or to be replaced......

Fay

[Trishmomof4]

I am so sorry you are having to go through this. More so I am sorry that Riley is having to go through this. It sounds to me like this new teacher has no place in that class much less running that class. She needs much more experience before heading a class with children that have such high needs. I would talk with her one more time and if she can't answer your questions satisfactorily I would go over her head and make a formal complaint. I know you don't want to be "that parent" but she isn't being as observant and communicative as she needs to be and you have to be able to trust her when she tells you there weren't any seizures. I hope you finally get her to understand that you are not trying to be a hard parent to get along with but you need her to understand that Riley's health is at steak and you will become "that parent" if you have to. I am sorry I got so long winded but I get so mad when a teacher isn't doing what is in the best intrest of the child that is in their care. Please keep us informed.

[just laurie]

Abby had a brand new teacher for kindergarten. As a former kindy teacher myself, I wanted to give her space and not be "that parent." Abby taught herself to read the summer before entering kindy. All through the year when I asked the teacher about Abby's reading she gave convoluted answers which meant nothing, but I didn't want to be "that parent."

At the end of the year I received a letter saying she was referring Abby for special ed reading because she had "only a very basic understanding of letters and letter sounds." I was livid--at least as much at myself as at the teacher. She had never once all year long taken the time to listen past Abby's speech impediment to hear her read!

I was friends with the reading specialist because I helped her tutor some kids, so I asked her to retest Abby. She tested well above grade level in reading!

I so wish I had been "that parent." If I had, maybe Abby wouldn't have had a wasted kindy year.

Be "that parent" if that is what it takes to get Riley's needs met. You will regret it more if you aren't.

[momster]

Hi - I would add my voice to those who think thatr mama bear knows best. I want to add one observation: My son is in an absolutely wonderful program for him. There is a boy 2 years older than he who was also in the program. He has a seizure disorder. Even I could tell that the teachers, aides and even the great school nurse, just didn't seem to be recognizing seizures. I mean, I would go in there and he would be sleeping. They'd say he seems to be coming down with something and I'd suggest that we were looking at a post-ictal kid, and they'd look at me like they'd never heard the word seizure. This boy finally went out of district this year, and he is doing so much better with appropriate care (to say nothing of his mom, who is also doing better knowing that her child is getting good medical care). If the school has no idea that Ri is having seizures, to me this is a warning sign. You need to make sure that they can recognize seizures and know the appropriate action to take, because someday it might be an emergency. If they don't care enough to make her health and safety a priority, then they need to send her to a school that cares enough to keep her safe.

Okay, I've ranted enough.

Good luck.


- momster

[sunandmoon]

Go for it and call a meeting. It's about the seizures, not about breaking in a new teacher. The nurse should be at your meeting don't you think? She could maybe instruct the new teacher and perhaps "HELP" her get used to what to do.

Sounds like the teacher is in over her head and very defensive. They really shouldn't put very new teachers in classes when they aren't ready. URGH.

[Denae]

"That Parent" has become me...

I talked to Miss Uninterested this morning- All else aside, and only addressing the issue with the hair pulling (which brought up the seizure issue on its own) I told her I was disturbed about the note that came home, let her know that Riley has little concept of yesterday or even 5 minutes ago. I asked her if X had pulled her hair earlier in the day, she says "no, but he did touch her hair at circle time" Then she went into this spill about how x has gotten better and is mostly just "touching" hair but that was not allowed either. She said that from the time that x touched her hair and the time she told on him was about 30 to 45 minutes.

Her next comment made me choke :eek: "It was like she had lost a chunk of time" " she told miss B that ***** just pulled her hair, she knew he didn't b/c he was in speech" :eek:

ok, so what does that sound like to you? Can we say seizures? of course that is my first thought so I ask what Ri was doing between the time of the incident and the tattle- nothing, just sitting and watching. In my mind I can see 8 children sitting on their name mats, all fidigiting and doing their thing- then there is Ri just sitting there staring off to the side and "fidigiting" with her dress being quiet having a cluster of partial seizures. MANY MANY of the days she has missed this is the EXACT seizure reason she has stayed home especially the last few weeks. The partial clusters scare me b/c even I have hard time realizing them when she is quietly playing or watching a movie.... Those scare me....

the solution? Short term KEEP RILEY away from X... period.



The bigger problem I am not sure what to do. I called the school nurse, she was out today....


She is going to hang out with her friend tomorrow, he is out of school on homebound due to his seizures so I know tomorrow she will be in good hands....

We need another classroom placement for the remainder of the year... this teacher will be gone. There are two teachers from the EC department at that school who have applied for the permanent position there and either would be great! they all know Ri and the other kids in the class since all the EC classes do stuff together often....

[wheeliebird]

No advice here just some big {{{HUGS}}}!!! Glad you got it all out in the open!